Entente Discordiale

Reflections on the Henry handball saga, featured on the Online Gooner in December 2009.

http://www.onlinegooner.com/exclusive/index.php?id=1425

It’s funny how things turn out. From the Glorious Revolution of 1688 until the signing of the Entente Cordiale in 1904, Irish rebels seeking independence from their colonial overlords, the Brits, had often looked to France for help. The French had often entertained such rebellion, if only to simply get one over on their old enemy. Today however the situation – if only on the football field rather than the battlefield - has reversed. In the wake of the World Cup play off controversy the Irish have found an ally in the usually right leaning and jingoistic English press, if only simply to get one over on their supposed old enemy – the French. Arsenal FC has not surprisingly found itself found caught in the crossfire. A goal scored by a current player and former captain assisted by a helping hand (ha ha, I bet none of the press have made that pun yet?) from a former player and arguably our greatest ever, Thierry Henry. Cue moral outrage from Ireland’s assistant, the current head of youth development at Arsenal and er… well also arguably our greatest ever player, Liam Brady (below).


The Sun saw fit to lead with the headline ‘Hand of Frog’ in reference to Henry’s misdemeanor (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2740210/Thierry-Henry-backs-calls-for-re-match.html). One might ask if this is permissible why it chose the headline ‘racist scum’ when Jade Goody used the words ‘Shilpa Poppadom’ in reference to an Indian contestant on Celebrity Big Brother? (http://www.spiked-online.com/index.php/site/article/2827/) The Sun also went on to hire the expertise of certain economists to highlight the benefit to the French economy that Henry’s helping hand would give them when the euros start rolling in for next June’s finals (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2738459/Thierry-Henrys-handball-will-give-France-a-1billion-boost.html).

As the Wapping based publication is known by its own admission to have an incredibly low reading age, its readership may be inclined to confuse France’s recovery from recession (of which the UK continues to be in) on Henry’s handball. Most credible economic opinion however would attribute that to the absence in France of an unquenchable appetite for the destruction of its industrial base and the subsequent over-reliance on the financial sector(http://www.independent.co.uk/news/business/comment/margareta-pagano/margareta-pagano-thatcher-got-it-wrong-blair-and-brown-did-too-can-cameron-get-it-right-1845589.html). Lest we forget also that agent of this programme rapid deindustrialisation in the UK was heartily cheered on by certain foreign media barons (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/2930665/Murdoch-defends-Thatchers-legacy.html).

Ardal O'Hanlon, a comedian who has barely raised a laugh this side of the millenium, had the following morning waded in with the statement that 'there was nothing like an injustice to galvanise a nation', with this particular nation facing a deeper recession than even that faced by the UK some form of galvanisation is definitely needed to distract the public's attention from the economy. The powers that be in Ireland were of course hardly likely to allow this situation to pass by quietly. Irish Justice minister Dermot Aherne had bleated on about, well, naturally the injustice of the whole thing. Irish PM Brian Cowen had raised the issue with Nicholas Sarkozy, presumably because there must have been nothing else of importance to raise in this political climate. As comedian Frankie Boyle had once retorted on 'Mock the Week' in reference to football's distracting qualities from real life (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYTsP8SsfA8), football is 'look at the shiney shiney'. In these times of upheaval and uncertainty, the 'shiney shiney' is needed more than ever.

Many Anglophobes on the other side of the Irish sea would often in the past sneeringly point to the delusions of grandeur and reactionary jingoism of the English media, however would no doubt have to concede the moral high ground in light of the many disgruntled listeners flooding Today FM in need of on-air cancelling. One listener stating that 'Ireland were still kings - France are wearing a stolen crown'. Many observers to Ireland's less than attractive brand of Football would assert they would have more in common with paupers than kings, meanwhile calls to boycott French wine, French bread, even French kissing were straight from the Murdoch manual on hyperbole. As to were calls for violent disorder in playing the Kaiser Chief's 'I Predict a Riot'.

Forty eight hours after the infamy of the Stade De France cue the handover of London born Danny Kelly to Dundee born George Galloway on TalkSport. Both had decided to play the ‘Irish heritage’ card in a way that may have led to a call up from Jack Charlton two decades earlier like their co-presenter Glasgow born Ray Houghton. Tottenham supporter Kelly, never one to let professionalism get in the way of an anti-Arsenal sentiment, called Henry ‘weasley’. Galloway who admitted to once viewing Henry as a ‘prince among men’ said he would be forever damned in his eyes for not holding his hand up to the ref like Robbie Fowler to his wrongdoing. So one example in 150 years of organized football makes a norm does it? Lest we forget that Fowler’s admittance to diving against Arsenal (below) didn’t actually prevent a penalty decision being given in his favour, or the fact that the result was not in the balance as his side were already 1-0 up at the time of the incident.

Though it goes without saying it was clearly handled by Henry and the goal should never had stood, the reaction would seem to suggest that the Irish are somewhat unique in having a decision go against them that somehow a wrong had been perpetrated in which the very future of the game would be undermined had there not been redress. Liam Brady had stated 'If we’re going to have integrity and dignity in the world game the game should be replayed'. However it had fallen to the usually hotheaded Roy Keane had become the dispassionate voice of reason highlighting how Ireland had a dubious decision given in their favour against Georgia in the group phase and the FAI had not called for any such replay (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMHwCbbG6WY). Ironically self proclaimed Man United and Celtic fanatic George Galloway referred to him as a troubled man for his outburst.


I also recall that a documentary on Channel 4 a few years ago had alleged that in Italia 90, after England had took the lead against Egypt in a match played simultaneously with Ireland v Holland - which stood a 1-1 - both sides had deliberately played for the draw which would see them both progress from the group phase. I don’t recall any outrage from the FAI in 1990 about the integrity of the game when Ireland subsequently progressed at the expense of four other potential third placed qualifiers, including Galloway's native Scotland.

On Galloway’s talk show one of his favourite retorts in the face of an accusation tinged with hypocrisy is to compare the said statement with the hunchback of Notre Dame telling you to stand up straight. It’s with this in mind that we turn to Liam Brady’s claim of Sepp Blatter’s behavior being an embarrassment. Anyone unfamiliar with one of Chippy’s stroppy outbursts should check his hilarious reaction to awkward questions after his last match in club management with Brighton after failing to beat Ryman league Canvey Island in the FA Cup in 1995 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GyiAjUR6Obg).

Blatter having the nerve to point out quite rightly that if Ireland were to enter the World Cup as 33rd side, consideration would also have to be given to Costa Rica who exited due to a dubious goal from Uruguay, making such an occurrence an impracticality. FIFA though sadly lacked any degree of backbone when it opened a case for Henry facing a one match suspension. Would it be rude of one to point out that had it been spotted, a deliberate handball is only a bookable offence and wouldn’t even merit a suspension?


As ever when a player's conduct falls outside the boundaries laid by the rules of the game we have the inevitable trip down selective memory lane. Having took a cab ride not long after that, the sexagenarian driver had informed me of how players in the 50s and 60s never succombed to the kind of dishonesty as seen by Henry and Eduardo's private bungee jump at Celtic's expense back in August. In response I asked him how he could come to that conclusion in consideration how today you have almost every second of every top level match covered with cameras from every angle and watched by a global audience of billions. Incidents such as this are highlighted and milked by the press whenever they occur.


Contrast this with an era that didn't even have the highlights of one match a week covered until 1964 with few camera angles. Most matches were only ever watched by a few tens of thousands at the stadium from a crowded terrace with most incidents passing by unnoticed. Considering also that this had been an era in which three top level players had been handed prison sentances and life bans for match fixing (http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/mortal-sin-that-strikes-at-the-heart-1611817.html) any idea of moral purity from this era would need to stand up to better scrutiny than he had considered. As he seemed to have no red top tabloid endrosed response he seemed to remain silent. Is it possible that one thing that could be said about the old days is that less people pratted on about the old days back in the old days? Seeing how the narrator of 'Goal', the official film of the 1966 seemed to refer to every 0-0 result as 'typical of the modern game' even that's not true.

Also on the subject of the media's impact on people's perception of how the game is played and the moral integrity of the game, as ever with refereeing errors we face the disingenuously utopian solution from the media of the introduction of video replays for those poor clubs who could potentially lose revenue and those poor fans whose lives are 'ruined' as a result of an official calling it wrong. When discussed at length by Richard Keys et al on Sky Sports, they somehow neglect to converse on how the scenario would lead to football’s over-reliance on their presence and technology.

Also, that 45 minutes is a long time without a commercial break. One minute of video analysis from the third eye is just enough time for 'a word from our sponsors'. Also the game that is played in the Stade De France is in essence the same as that played at the scene of Brady’s last embarrassing outburst at Park Lane, Canvey Island. Will Sky pay for this technology to be installed at the latter, where a wrong decision in the qualifying rounds of the FA Cup could potentially deprive a club of the revenue of a cup run that could make the difference between the death and survival of a club? All I can put forward is a twist to the age old rhetorical question often used to emphasise the obvious....'Is the Pope Irish'?

The Counter Revolution Will Be Televised In The Club Level

This article had appeared in the Christmas 2009 edition of the Gooner Magazine.

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=201

A quarter of a century ago this Christmas Michael Burke had made a news report with the honest intention of telling things as he saw it, but sadly for all his good intentions he was unable to foresee an unintended consequence of his actions, I myself have a similar feeling 25 years on. Many have accused the effect of Band Aid and Live Aid on the music scene in the late 80s as being good for Ethiopia but ultimately bad for music, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1hnPsQX6qVM) but the one thing that surely eases anything that might be remotely troubling the conscience of Michael Burke toward poor up and coming wannabe musicians is that his piece was not proceeded by the introduction 'Michael Burke now reports on whatever happened to the that bloke from the Boomtown Rats?'.

It's rumoured that sometime in the early 90s David Dein had considered the Gooner Magazine such a potent thread he regularly sent people out from the office to purchase a copy in order to get some feeling of what the 'word on the street' was in order to be one step ahead of the game. Whether this practice is still followed is anyone's guess; however back in September I had wrote an article in the Gooner describing the phenomena over the last ten years of pubs in the areas surrounding the ground showing pirate coverage of Arsenal games via foreign satellite. The Gooner had misunderstood my reasons behind the article stating in the sub heading that I urged the club to act in the face of this competition; however nothing could be further from the truth.

The last thing I had wanted was a club sanctioned response to this phenomenon. The appeal of the pubs showing pirate coverage was always that whatever the condition of the bathwater at least we still had the baby intact, something that is more difficult to say about the E******* Stadium and least of all the club level. In all honesty my conscience may be at peace with the fact that in reality I would have more chance of getting a blow job from the pope than bringing something to the attention of the club's board via my article. Despite this I am pretty certain that the club’s move to show non UK televised away matches in the club level against Sunderland in November and Burnley in December to members is definitely a way of generating income in response to the very competition I wrote about back in September. At the very least it’s designed to deny such an income from the pirate bars. I had decided to attend to the showing of the Burnley match in the club level, open to members, in order to compare and contrast with the regular pirate experience enjoyed in the nearby establishments.

Very often with watching games on a plasma screen in a bar there is a feeling deep down that you really wish you were there at the game, however on a freezing cold snowy December night at the notoriously cold Turf Moor 'oop norf' I'm satisfied to be somewhere warm and dry in London. Entry had been £5 with a token for food and drink, which is very similar to the idea of drink tokens for entrance fee policy employed by some of the pub pirates. As the game kicked off though the bar had been woefully under staffed and had to watch the first quarter of an hour of the match (the only good bit from an Arsenal point of view) standing in a queue. Though I could still see a screen, it was still annoying nonetheless. At least I had the joy and undoubted kudos of standing behind the famous/infamous (deleted as appropriate) Highbury Spy of Gooner Magazine fame while he was queuing at the bar.

The price of alcohol at the bar had also been at the usual rip off match day prices of around £3.50 a pint. Oddly my experience of the pirate bars have been much less this year due to the ability to obtain match day tickets at the Grove, though on the rare times that I have I’ve noticed that the price of a pint has surpassed the £3.00 barrier. This may be an indication that even they know their time may be short-lived in the long run and are seeking to maximize their income while they still can.

Overall though, one reason for the success of the pirates over the past decade is the feeling of free expression long since lost to match day attendance. Granted some parts of the experience should have long expired, but again we’re back to the baby and the bathwater scenario. Some fans had tried to raise a singsong during the match in the same manner as what occurs in the pirate bars; however it felt like telling blue jokes at your grandma’s on Boxing Day. The activity is always a joy, it just happens to be wrong and inappropriate in the surroundings you happen to be in.

At half time I went down to the window over looking the pitch, observing the how the club retains its magic carpet all years round with the quite possibly non-environmentally sound ultra violet lamps. While conversing with two middle-aged gents on observation of what an incredibly great view of the pitch you enjoy in club level, we had then proceeded to talk about the club level itself. One despite claiming he first came to Arsenal at a Fairs Cup game in 1969 didn’t exactly fit the archetypal proletarian old skool footie fan and also admitted that he was a ‘business’ man. He did though say something that was right on the money – that Gazidis’s ‘Arsenalization’ project had yet to reach here and you do not see much to do with Arsenal inside the club level. Yes it can be said that this is the corporate part of the ground not the Arsenal part, however surely its ‘Arsenal-ness’ and the stature of the club is what sells the club level, otherwise these people would all be at Selhurst Park or Loftus Road instead. A few pictures of Tony Adams or Frank McLintock holding a trophy surely wouldn’t go a miss?

Poor result and poor atmosphere, were there any positives to this evening? Well there was one - the ability to get on a train at the nearest station to the ground. Ivan Gazidis had said in a Q&A with the Supporters Trust that Arsenal had two undeniable assets – Arsene Wenger and the ground. I’d like to add a third to Ivan’s list from leftfield – how about a national rail station almost on top of the stadium that heads right out to Hertfordshire on one side and down to Moorgate on the other, in close proximity to connecting station out to Essex like Liverpool Street and Fenchurch Street? Drayton Park (below) was always used on match days in the mid 80s, yet rightfully is too dangerous to use in this safety conscious post-Hillsborough age due to the puny space on the platform. Quite why no-one has decided to upgrade this station after three years of the new stadium is anyone’s guess, especially as either side of the track seems to be just shrubbery and that an extended platform can be easily achieved.

The upgrade to Drayton Park is something the club needs both practically and image wise. We are continually embarrassed on a weekly basis as the crowd empties out long before full time. However, as someone who stays until the end and needs to travel in excess of 30 miles home to the Essex sticks the journey can take as long as 3 hours to get back, which is not good on a work night. Maybe in this era of tight spending both the club and the top people from TFL might not care much for people from the Home Counties stuck in a queue to get into Highbury & Islington in the pouring rain of a cold winter’s night? They could do much to help us in our plight but I fear their attitude may be to keep one eye on their profit margins and bloated salaries and simply say ‘tonight thank god it’s them instead of us’.

The Unforgettable.....Whatshisname?

As we are now greeted by the site of the newly ‘Arsenalised’ home of Football in N7 adorned with murals with shirts bearing the names of the great and good that have enriched the history of the club, one thought it would be appropriate to pay tribute to the lesser names who have contributed to pivotal moments in the successes of the Arsenal in the modern era. Arsenal’s modern era of success for me can be divided into four parts – the Mee era, the Neill era, the Graham era and the Wenger era and in the course of this article I shall endeavour to highlight and award one player from each era the recognition of their under-valued efforts.

From the Mee era, the efforts of Graham, McLintock, Charlie George et al live long in the memory, though one man’s name probably wouldn’t have the same allure on the after dinner speaking circuit. Despite this, the early 70s Arsenal renaissance may never have happened at all but for Eddie Kelly’s (Left) vital opening goal in the second leg of the 1970 Fairs Cup Final at Highbury. That night the Arsenal went on to overturn a 1-3 deficit from the first leg and ran out 3-0 winners on the night, 4-3 on aggregate. The momentum gained from that night carried over to the following season, with Arsenal riding on a dual carriageway to glory, albeit at times a rather rocky one at that.

On the final Saturday of the 1970/71 season Arsenal had ground out a vital 1-0 home victory against a Stoke side that not only thrashed them 0-5 earlier on in the season, but contained Gordon Banks – the world’s number one goalkeeper, between the sticks. Kelly came on as a substitute for the injured Peter Storey and had scored the all important winner, thus taking Arsenal to just one point behind Leeds United at the top of the table with a vital game in hand – at White Hart Lane just 48 hours later. Kelly played a full part in the championship decider at the Lane, that the Gooners won 1-0, due to Storey’s injury, though was again banished to the subs bench the following Saturday for the cup final against Liverpool at Wembley.

He had again entered the fray due to an injured Peter Storey and again popped up with a vital goal to cancel out the Scousers’ 1-0 lead. However Eddie had to wait a further 24 hours for recognition of his place in history, courtesy of someone’s eagle eye in the LWT cutting room. George Graham must have been wearing extra long boots that day as he was under the impression he had got the vital last touch on the equaliser, also not the last time he had claimed something not rightfully his in an Arsenal capacity. GG in all modesty however clarified his stance on that goal many years after the event by asking the question ‘who would you rather run after and kiss – me or Eddie Kelly?’

After Charlie’s screamer of a winner in 1971, the Arsenal had to wait another 8 years before regaining that winning feeling under Terry Neill. Between 1978-80 Arsenal reached 4 finals, though lost 3. Many would say that the one that did come off was down to Arsenal’s supposedly inherent ‘lucky’ streak; however some schools would have it down to poor tactics from Terry Neill in putting the ‘79 Cup Final in jeopardy in the first place. Arsenal were comfortably 2-0 up at 84 minutes when Neill decided to substitute David Price (right). Though Price was often over shadowed by the sweet skills of Brady and Rix and the work rate of Brian Talbot, my father assures me that David Price was a talent grossly under-rated by Neill and had been vital in holding off a United comeback in the ’79 Cup Final. Being only 7 months old in May 1979 I’d have to take his word for that, though the 6 minutes that followed his withdrawal saw what neutrals would call a thrilling climax to an otherwise ordinary final. Arsenal fans would just call it an unnecessary rise in blood pressure (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQEXjVWe6lA&feature=related).

Whatever the merits of David Price, Terry Neill traded him in to Crystal Palace in exchange for the lesser Nicholas of the 1980s two seasons later. Peter the not so great had been one of many flop transfers for Neill which meant another 8 year drought for N5’s finest until GG came back to Highbury to replace Don Howe. Arsenal’s revival of fortunes had been built on the fruits of youth, though vitally supplemented by inexpensive additions to the squad. Central to the renaissance had been the holy trinity of Davis, Rocky and Thomas in Midfield. Davis was held up as mentor to the other two fledglings, even at international level with Davis appearing for England under 21s alongside them as the eligible older player at the ripe old age of 27 (scandalously he never attained a full cap).

As the new breed of black footballers Davis, Rocky and Thomas were very much De La Soul to Regis, Batson and Cunningham’s Three Degrees, though midway through the 88/89 season after Davis’s absence through a combination of suspension and injury it fell to a man with a namesake in the Backstreet Boys to keep the party vibe going. Already a championship winner with Everton, Kevin Richardson (left)provided the vital missing ingredient of experience in a midfield deprived of Davis and Steve Williams’s departure the previous summer. He moved on from Arsenal in 1990, comparing GG’s authoritarianism to that of Colonel Gaddafi, missing out on regaining the title in 1991. However he remains one of the few to win it with two different sides, nearly adding a third with Villa in 1993.

For the lesser recognised hero of the Wengerian era it may be tempting to go for Ray Parlour, however he’s barred by mere universal popularity. The honour instead befalls Sylvain Wiltord, who’s often derided for not being worth the £13 million Arsenal paid out. However since when is a player responsible for the inflated fee a club pays out? At just over 1 goal per 4 games his ratio wasn’t that spectacular, but he was effective whether played centrally or wide. He also contributed some important goals in his 4 years at Highbury, including 6 goals in Arsenal’s run to the 2001 Cup Final and the winner at Old Trafford securing our third double 31 years to the day after our first.

The Wiltord moment that sticks out for me was when he had been banished to the League Cup XI against Rotherham in 2003 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AEHDeuB2BmA). The crowd made him well aware he was playing a stinker, though for me he was more down on his luck than not trying. The match had gone to a shoot out, Wiltord missing the opener. One sexagenarian man on the North Bank clearly thought his moment of comic genius had come repeatedly shouting ‘we should sell Wiltord to a team from Liechtenstein!’ (If wit was shit, clearly that man was suffering constipation). The shoot out had gone through all eleven players and Wiltord had his moment to make amends for the evening with the deciding penalty and did so. I’d hoped this would regain Wiltord’s confidence, but as the invincibles swept all before them his presence had withered away, with him leaving on a free in the summer. Was Wiltord a £13 Million loss? Looking back after 4 barren years, Nic Bendtner and waiting for Theo Walcott to mature the same kind of player equally effective out wide or in the centre surely anyone instrumental in a double win at Old Trafford has easily repaid that sum with interest? (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TH-Ky-Cgd8)

The Darling Cup

This article featured in the 200th Anniversary edition of the Gooner magazine in November

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=200

The history of the Football League Cup has always been a chequered one. A laughing stock in Football circles from its inception in 1960, until moving the final to Wembley and the promise of a place in Europe had raised its profile by the end of that decade. The height of its importance came after Heysel when it became one of only three possible trophies to win, Arsenal's victorious campaign in 1987 with two goals from Charlie Nicholas (below) in the final against the then mighty Liverpool had spearheaded the longest period of success for Arsenal in the modern era. On 11th November 1998 however came the start of a long cold winter for the cup with three handles. As Arsenal lined up to play Chelsea at Highbury, in a rematch of the previous season’s Semi Final, their side had deliberately consisted of mere second stringers who were subsequently ripped to sheds 5-0 by the visiting holders. There had been much outcry from many Arsenal fans that had shelled out almost £100 to bring their families to Highbury for what they had believed would be a star studded and competitive London derby. In the years that followed the League Cup would fail to be box office.

The rapid expansion of the Champions League at the end of the nineties had meant that both domestic cups would fall lower in the pecking order. While the FA Cup’s importance would be demoted to that which the League Cup previously held, the League Cup in turn looked doomed to a Zenith Data Systems Cup style irrelevance. The sneer of the ‘Joka-Cola Cup’, soon to be followed by that of the ‘Worthless Cup’ meant that the competition had gone full circle back to its original standing in 1960 as the trophy that no-one seemed too bothered about.

In November 2001, back in the heady days of the Wenger-Ferguson Premiership duopoly, Arsenal had been drawn at home to an equally disdainful Manchester United. An Arsenal fan at work had asked me if I wished to buy her ticket as she was otherwise engaged, I declined. By the end of the day after failing to find anyone interested enough to actually pay money to watch this game, she came back to me and asked if I wanted it for free, to which I accepted. It may not be an exaggeration to say that had this ticket been nailed to a wall in an alleyway passers by may have been more inclined to steal the nails. Arsenal ran out 4-0 winners on the night, however despite witnessing Arsenal’s biggest win over United since 1970 at the time it didn’t feel a particularly note worthy victory and hasn’t ever been seen as such since.

Fast forward eight years on from the irrelevance of that 4-0 victory over a fellow Champions League side, the recent Liverpool clash ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rg7svJebmlI) had been witnessed by a 60,000 capacity crowd and had sold out quicker than most of the weekend premiership matches at Arsenal so far this season. Though the £10 ticket price is a big factor, as is the considerable southern fan base of the opposition, there is also the belief that this once derided competition is worth watching again due to the Wengerite philosophy of using the tournament as a showcase for up and coming talent. The turning point for the competition had come during the 2003/04 campaign, as ‘the invincibles’ of the first team took the Premiership by storm, in the Carling Cup debuts were awarded to future first stringers Gael Clichy and Cesc Fabregas. From hereafter Arsenal would achieve 8 quarter final appearances on the bounce with virtually a reserve/youth team, putting to the sword several formidable Premiership opposition sides in the process.

A contributory factor to the trophy void that has emerged over the last five seasons could well be not taking this trophy as seriously as other sides do, however the Carling Cup has built for itself a portfolio of great moments during that time. Such moments in that portfolio include the time the kids mashed the Spuds after going two down at the Lane, Baptista tearing Liverpool apart at Anfield (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zJFOci1CqY&feature=related) and debuts and first goals for several of today’s regular squad members and key players. It is also much noted how distinctive Carling Cup night is from any regular match night, be it at Highbury or the new Home of Football in Holloway. Mexican waves aside on Carling Cup night our architecturally great stadium feels like it has the kind of atmosphere it was built for, as opposed to the soulless bowl it has come to be seen as due to a continuation of the ‘Highbury Library’ vibe.

While the FA Cup’s adaptation to Footballing modernity rapidly feels like a competition that has lost an empire and yet to find a role, the Carling Cup in contrast seems to be enjoying a whole new lease of life and is indeed once again box office. Despite the exception of the 5-1 mauling at White Hart Lane in the 2007/08 campaign and possibly seeing Cheryl Tweedy’s husband glee the year before after Chelsea survived a first half onslaught by the Young Guns, it is still the case that exiting the Carling Cup is a lesser blow than losing a game in the either of the other two cup competitions or in the Premiership. However the words ‘Joka-Cola Cup’ and ‘Worthless Cup’ seem to pop up far less frequently than they used to. In fact such is the joy that has emanated from this competition over the last few years, if I may be so bold I’d like to propose the moniker ‘Darling Cup’ for future reference.

A Prize Cult?

This Article was published in the October 2009 edition of the Gooner Magazine

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=199

Once upon a time four young men from Merseyside shook up the world, three of which were so talented that had they been in any other group they would have been the sole creative force within that combo. The aforementioned three never really had any affiliation with the beautiful game; though the fourth guy did, however he followed neither the red or blue half of Merseyside. It’s a little known fact but through Harry Graves, Ringo's London born stepfather he actually became a Gooner (http://stage.hn.haymarketnetwork.com/editorial/features/didthebeatleshidetheirfootballingloveaway.aspx).

It was Harry Graves who bought Ringo (Right) his first drum kit, however Ringo's abilities as a musician stood in stark contrast to that of his colleagues. When asked whether Ringo was the best drummer in the world, John Lennon had replied that Ringo 'wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles’. Despite this however there are few beatlemaniacs that would, if given the choice, have replaced Ringo with a more accomplished drummer of the time, say Kenny Jones from the Small Faces or Charlie Watts from the Stones. Ringo, by merely being Ringo, seemed to have brought something essential to the party that overcame his lack of talent and in the process became a pop legend in his own right. NME hack Mark Beaumont backs this view, actually naming Ringo as his favourite Beatle. As he explains, Ringo ‘could make hitting a snare drum sound like punching a wet dachshund. Yes, he had a voice like a flock of diseased geese fighting over a clown’s car horn. True, he was the pugly one who lucked in at the last minute. But Ringo was The Beatles. He was the novelty factor without which they would’ve been just showing off’.

It’s with this in mind I ask you to consider what is it exactly that makes an Arsenal icon? Talent goes a long way, however it is not the sole criteria. It surely can’t be just me that finds it the slightest bit strange how over the years Perry Groves has morphed into the ‘cult hero’ of the Arsenal terraces. My early memories of Perry Groves (below) was that his presence rarely ever excited the crowd, even more so seeing how he, in his own words, was more often than not the ‘stuntman’ for far more popular players such as Charlie Nick, Rocky, Merse and Limpar. In fact by 1991/92 the indifference turned to jeers. Yet his autobiography, released in 2006, has gone on to outsell others by players far more technically gifted and famous than he, including one particular former Highbury full back. It’s appeal was summed up in it’s ‘When Saturday Comes’ review as ‘the literary equivalent of a Carry On film; despite its hackneyed feel and cringe-worthy moments, you end up laughing ­guiltily, at parts of it anyway’.


Perry's B-Movie like cult status is highlighted by Jon Spurling in his book centred around Arsenal's erractic fortunes in the 1980s 'All Guns Blazing', published with a great deal of hindsight from an era of consistent achievement in 2001. He states that 'There was a film made a few years ago called 'Mars Attacks', which is a tribute to some of the '60s kitsch cinematic hits. It's a bizarre combination of humour, crappy costumes, a weird storyline and deliberately low budget scenery. It is also, in parts, quite effective and, to quote certain cinematic critics - enjoyable rubbish. Less charitable Arsenal fans would claim that many of these phrases aptly sum up Groves....Perry was B-Grade in every sense - talent, vision, and crucially looks'. Spurling also goes on to add that 'it is doubtful whether or not a cult figure like Perry would be tolerated in the win-or-else '90s, where failure to do so provokes hysterical on-air counselling with David Mellor or Richard Littlejohn'.

As we stand in late 2009, the era of the win-or-else '90s is well behind us, however its worth taking a quick look at the current crop at the Arsenal to see who among them will be the unlikely 'B-Movie' style icon of the era. We have many in the A-list category whose possession of sublime touch and skill, even at times majestic brilliance, who barring a Cashley or Greedybarndoor-esque hissy fit will be assured recognition of their talent and efforts in an Arsenal shirt when we arrive at the year 2029. Who though will be the footballing Ringo of the era, whose shortcomings will be no barrier to immortality? For me there is only one contender. Like Groves he too has borne the brunt of his recognized, yet for me exaggerated, ineptitude.

In the aftermath of the ‘Ebooing’ incident I had expressed through these pages indifference to the fuss made by the press in reaction to what happened against Wigan last December. I had stated that bearing the brunt of 60,000 angry punters was nothing compared to what some sectors of the UK workforce have to put up with for much less in a year than what Eboue would earn in a week. I had also stated the fact that better and more popular players had previously experienced what Eboue had and that the booing would disappear with a few decent performances. It is important to recognize the fact that the man himself never actually did wallow in self pity and complain about ‘not being loved’, as other players have done since.

Though this may well be an admission of having far too much time on my hands, in August of this year I actually took the day off work for the Arsenal member’s day and viewed the open training session at the Stadium. One person who clearly grasped the PR importance of the day in interacting with the Arsenal public was Emmanuel Eboue, he reveled in larking about with the crowd. As the players left the stadium in their expensive and impressive motor vehicles through the Queensland Road exit, most had looked to maneuver past the mostly young autograph hunters as quickly as possible. One player though had made a concerted effort to stop and sign - Emmanuel Eboue.

If any one player could be justified in wanting to put some distance between himself and the fans after last year it would be Eboue, however this light hearted and jovial approach is apparently in keeping with his nature. Other Arsenal players have described the man as ‘funnier than most comedians on the telly’. On meeting the queen at Buckingham Palace Eboue had decided it appropriate to break with convention and roll around on the floor with the corgis. In terms of breaking through the stuffy etiquette that comes with meeting the reigning monarch it’s not quite as good as Tommy Cooper’s request for her cup final tickets when she answered ‘no’ to his question of whether she followed football, but it comes somewhere close. The fans have also taken to pointing out that Eboue comes from Africa, followed by the bold assertion that he is ‘better than Kaka’. Whether in 20 years time it will still be sung at the Arsenal, like the ‘Perry Groves World’ chant, only time will tell.

Ship Ahoy! - Watching The Arsenal Pirate Style

This article had appeared in the September 2009 edition of the Gooner Magazine

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=198

I can still remember it clearly today, over a decade later. When sneaking into an almost empty Walthamstow pub with the intention to borrow the little boy’s room without arousing the attention the establishment to the fact that I was not a paying customer. It had been around 4.15PM on a Saturday afternoon and on the big screen had been Leicester City v Liverpool live and exclusive with the soundtrack of a foreign commentator. As if by magic, a Saturday afternoon football broadcast from an English football ground that had not been via Radio commentary or a report from Grandstand, explaining to those of us not fortunate enough to be present what we could only dream of seeing unfold before our very eyes. A window into a whole new world, meaning we no longer had to wait until 10.30PM to be able to view what actually was the Match of the Day.

It’s nearly a quarter of a century ago that I first began to attend Arsenal matches with my father, on the long trip up via train and tube from the Essex sticks. This had been a joy rationed to only four or five times a season for me, however from a young age I had vowed that once I had a disposable income of my own I too shall hold my own season ticket and be regular face on the North Bank. In the years since I first gained an income in the late 90s a combination of unprecedented demand, an extensive waiting list and a 600% increase in the cheapest season ticket meant that such a dream never came to pass. However my wish to view every second of the season in an environment of free expression within reasonable means has been a privilege enjoyed for several years now.

A few years ago I had the pleasure of meeting Sir Chips Keswick, member of the Arsenal board and officially the world’s poshest man. He had asked me how often I managed to obtain tickets for the E******s Stadium. I had answered with candour that I manage to get tickets around four or five times a season, yet watched live every other game of the season illegally on foreign satellite in the surrounding areas of North London if it wasn’t available on Sky. While remaining his polite self, from his expression I had noticed that I had dropped a major faux pas in revealing something I really should have kept to myself. He had looked to circulate elsewhere in the room, said it had been nice talking to one and advised me to subscribe to the then fledgling, now defunct Setanta and particularly Arsenal TV, then moved on.

Sir Chips Keswick: Wrong about Setanta

While the premiership has looked to increase its revenue over the last 17 years, those priced out of the match day experience in the years since have sought ever more ways to recapture that lost joy. The situation has since come to pass that almost all premiership matches on any given Saturday are shown live by satellite stations with a reception within reach of the UK. Reminiscent of the early days of rock n roll when a shortfall in coverage from indigenous broadcasters brought the birth of offshore pirate radio to quench the thirst of a national obsession, there has been a similar modern day realisation of how broadcasting technology rarely ever respects national boundaries.

To accompany foreign satellite television has also come live streaming of overseas coverage via the net (http://www.justin.tv/directory/sports), however like the similar predicament of 60s youth losing Radio Caroline’s signal to the sound of static, there too is the same frustration of losing the stream mid-match and the frantic search to find another before missing anything vital. The perfect remedy for guaranteeing full pirate coverage of the Arsenal without the irritation of constantly losing the stream, or arriving in a pub showing another side at 3PM is acquiring the knowledge of which pubs around North London guarantee coverage of the Arsenal on a Saturday afternoon, however if you are wishing me to enlighten you here and now as to where then you will be disappointed. After all, in the words of a quote from a famous cult movie “rule number one of fight club is that we do not talk about fight club”.

The legitimacy of showing such matches has long been a legal mooting point, the precedent case for which involves a pub in Portsmouth named “Red, White and Blue”. Karen Murphy, the publican of the bar in question, received matches from Greek station Nova Sports at a much lower price than that of BSkyB and was subsequently prosecuted by Portsmouth Crown Court under the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988. However Nova Sports, as well as many of the other foreign channels that such publicans subscribe to operate within the EU, therefore the High Court granted Ms Murphy the right to appeal her prosecution to the European Court of Justice as a restraint of free trade among member states. Her case is due to appear before the Luxembourg court in the near future.

One legal observer (http://www.prnewswire.co.uk/cgi/news/release?id=194786) has assessed the possible effects of the Premier league’s ongoing pursuit to crack down on such pubs as potentially being ‘the sledgehammer that cracked the table and missed the walnut altogether’, in that if Murphy's conviction is upheld, it would also make illegal around 2 million Sky systems that are presently installed across other countries in the EU. The intention of the Copyright Designs and Patents Act 1988 was to incorporate EU statute 93/83, under which judgment could be applied throughout the European Union against Sky in favour of the indigenous broadcaster. On the other hand, if Murphy’s prosecution is overturned it would lead to the undermining of the licensing of media rights on a territory-by-territory basis, meaning Sky would be far less inclined to pay handsomely for exclusive UK rights.

It can also be said that despite Sir Chips’ latent disapproval, the establishments around North London who screen Arsenal’s matches live on Saturday afternoons were previously low down on the list of worries for the Arsenal board. However, this season the availability of 3PM Saturday home Premiership games on general sale will be at its most frequent for over a decade. The presence of these bars, with their available alcohol, pre-premiership terrace atmosphere and camaraderie are, in the current climate, unwanted competition for the board. They may just have to reassess whether asking fans to fork out £60 plus for an environment in which you are forced to sit throughout and face the threat of ejection for daring to sing really is value for money.

The Man Who Would Be King

My take on why the above picture was never likely to occur, as published in the August Edition of the Gooner Magazine

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=197

Image if you will a parallel universe, as described by walking Jimmy Greaves Scots Goalkeeping cliché Jim Leighton. It’s May 14th 1986 and in strolling through the doors of the marble halls, on their way to an awaiting press are two Scotsmen. One is making a long awaited return to the scene of the greatest triumphs of his footballing career after a 14 year exile. He is fresh from transforming Millwall from the brink of the fourth tier of English football and put them on a course which would eventually result in their only ever outing at English football’s top table by the end of the 1980s. The other is a former shop steward of the Clyde shipyards, fresh from breaking the Celtic-Rangers duopoly on the Scottish title (a duopoly that would resume on his exit) and establishing Aberdeen as a major domestic and European trophy winning outfit. He is also on his way to the Mexico 86 World Cup with the Scottish national side, a placement which will terminate with Scotland’s exit from the tournament for Ferguson to take up his post with the Arsenal and lead Arsenal into a brave new era.

The above scenario however never did come to pass. Though Graham did arrive here in May 1986 Fergie obviously didn’t and later took up the offer to lead another iconic English footballing institution roughly 6 months later. However the thought of a Ferguson/Graham double act would certainly have been a cause for great optimism for Arsenal fans starved of success in 1986 and judging from Richard Buxcey’s online Gooner article in June(http://www.onlinegooner.com/exclusive/index.php?id=1203) it’s one that relatively success starved Gooners of the present day would ponder while looking on in envy after watching Ferguson march to a second hat-trick of titles in less than 10 years. However my own take on this vision is that had the above scenario come to pass, the Arsenal of today would be a very different outfit, but not necessarily for the better. Buxcey claims in his article that ‘Part of me thinks that maybe he had an even stronger platform from which to start here, than that he had when he took the reins at Old Trafford. The basis of the ‘89 title winners was already in place in 86/87’. This is a point I strongly disagree with.

An imperious Fergie North of the Border, alongside his United predecessor who contrary to folk myth also had some silverware of his own to parade.

In the summer of 1986 there was far more of a transformation required at Highbury than at Old Trafford. Ferguson, like George Graham at Highbury had taken over a club where many of it’s biggest stars were embroiled in an after hours drinking culture, however despite 19 years without a league title (a gap of only 4 years longer than our own at the time) they had won two of the three cup finals that they had reached in the previous four seasons. Contrast this with Arsenal in 1986 who had not won a trophy or reached a final for 6 years, they had in fact won only 1 trophy since the double of 1971. Despite the fact we had several international players on the books it was blatantly obvious that Arsenal Football Club were deeply mired in a culture of underachievement by this point.

Despite Ron Atkinson’s poor start to the 1986/87 season (which began with a 1-0 defeat at Highbury in August) the United squad had a great deal of strength to it. They had started the season before winning all of their first ten games, which is still a top flight record to this day. Amongst the United squad at this point had been often injured, but still no less vital, captain marvel Bryan Robson. Also among their squad were players eventually sold by Fergie who had continued to be effective at the top level into the 1990s, such as Gordon Strachan, Paul McGrath and Kevin Moran. United also had the talents of Norman Whiteside and Jesper Olsen starring at Mexico 86 the previous summer, as well as the reliable and experienced former Gooner Frank Stapleton. Despite being bottom of the table United were a still a strong squad on Fergie’s arrival, with many players who had recent experience of winning trophies, yet Fergie still took 4 seasons to win his first silverware at Old Trafford.

It’s very easy to forget Fergie’s standing in English football as the 1980s drew to a close. He was at this point in grave danger being the managerial equivalent of Charlie Nicholas, in that once he had came to England he had started to look a pale shadow of the imperious and all conquering figure he been north of the border. In Fergie’s first four seasons at Old Trafford United had only finished in the top ten once and outside of their victorious 1990 FA Cup run posed no challenge in cup competition whatsoever. In this clip here Ferguson is quick to less than subtly remind Sky Sports reporter Geoff Shreeves of this less than glorious period in his reign at Old Trafford (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1r1av1Shn4).

By May 1990 Fergie had spent £12.9 Million in transfer fees and recouped £3.1 Million in players sold, equaling a net loss of £9.8 Million. Compare this to George Graham who had picked up his first trophy 11 months into the job, who had only paid out £75,000 for Perry Groves and had recouped £1.2 Million from sales, equaling a net gain of £1.125 Million. Ferguson’s route to success had been a costly one that the Arsenal of May 1986 could not afford, especially if you take into account an alleged debt of £1 Million and crowds regularly under 20,000. Man Utd in contrast had average attendances regularly around 40,000 and were even back then the most supported club in the country.

One major benefit that Arsenal had had with regard to saving on transfers at this point had been the produce of our youth system, which had came into fruition under Graham. Would Fergie have got the same results with such raw talent? Richard Buxcey highlights his 90s fledglings as testament to Fergie’s abilities in this field; however here too Fergie had also been a late bloomer. His original fledglings of the late 80s had also been tipped for great things; however are Russell Beardsmore and Mark Robins held in the same esteem as Adams or Rocastle? Until the emergence of Ryan Giggs, Ferguson had no reputation for developing young talent whatsoever and preferred to buy big name stars for big money.

Of course it goes without saying that Ferguson did eventually rise up to easily become the most successful manager of his era, largely due to the faith and persistence of the United board despite fans remaining largely unconvinced about Ferguson right up until his first title in 1993. Would the Arsenal board have given as much time for Ferguson to have come good? Richard Buxcey believes so citing the faith in Wenger after a fourth potless season. However the faith is accorded to Wenger due to past successes at the club. There isn’t any real modern precedent of Arsenal remaining as faithful to a manager trophyless from the inception of his reign, for as long as United did without wielding the axe. It’s also highly doubtful that a man as ruthlessly ambitious as George Graham would have remained as Ferguson’s number two to wait patiently for his chance at Highbury and in all likelihood we would also have lost the man who did turn out to be our real savior in the late 80s.

In all likelihood therefore if Ferguson were appointed manager of Arsenal in 1986 it may well have been yet another false dawn for the Highbury faithful. It too may have been disastrous for Fergie, as failure at Arsenal may well have soiled his reputation south of the border and seen him return to what became a far less competitive Scottish league once David Murray’s millions became a factor at Ibrox. Thankfully in hindsight it looks like both Arsenal and Sir Alex Ferguson collectively dodged a bullet with this one.

Lest we forget that from the same era as the above, this had also occurred......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3SoLyyNOGk

Teenage Kicks - The Arrival of Punk Football

This article featured in the April edition of the Gooner Magazine.

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=196

In 1990 football became the ‘new rock ‘n’ roll’, with footballers in turn becoming the new rock n roll stars. Italia 90 was the Blackboard Jungle moment; Paul Gascoigne was its Bill Haley, the chubby faced and non-pretty star of this sexy new genre who later would be afflicted by alcoholism and paranoia two decades later after his ousting from the spotlight by cooler, better looking and younger upstarts. The new rock n roll like the old one had grown up in a world of new found prosperity, however by the time the old one had approached the close of its second decade it had began to wither along with the world economy.

All had looked rosy on the surface for the old rock n roll, it filled stadiums and its stars had vast amounts of wealth, but this bloated excess had begun to alienate it from the common herd that had paid its hard earned and increasingly diminishing wages to view the ants from a distance within huge stadiums. It had also started to become a more adult orientated activity, which the youth were increasingly priced out of. A youth led backlash had to happen, and low and behold it did in the form of pub rock, punk rock and the new wave. Away from the enormous concrete bowl stadia, in the cheaper alternative of the 100 club or the crown and anchor, the stars of the show were close enough to see the whites in the eyes of their audience. So could something be about to emerge from the football world which equates to this kind of paradigm shift?

Richard Williams of the Guardian seemed to think so last May in his article ‘Stadium rock of top flight looks bloated against the joy division’ http://www.guardian.co.uk/sport/blog/2008/may/12/stadiumrockoftopflightloo . He points to the continued increase in average attendances for the Football League, attracting more spectators in 2007/8 than Serie A, due to its ‘appealing to an audience in search of a more basic experience’. He also adds that ‘Looking ahead, it might be worth remembering what happened to pub rock. Its back-to-the-roots ethic and DIY practicality provided the direct inspiration for the punk movement, which came along to sweep away a generation who believed their hold on power was absolute and permanent.’

Since the credit crunch there is much to be said for the rise in demand of the cheap and the basic, one only need to look at the 80% rise in profits for McDonalds. It is always the way that in times of economic downturn such products experience boom years, and in turn bust when an economy picks up again. This was true of the football industry as a whole as attendances boomed from the depression and austerity years between the 1920s and 1950s, then dwindled as the country never had it so good and alternative forms of entertainment (like popular music) emerged. However since the 90s boom years, football has made itself a luxury for many; therefore Richard Williams is in the right ball park, however not entirely correct.

One only needs to look at admission fees in the championship and throughout the Football League to show you just how far an escape from football’s excesses it can be, with prices on a weekly basis hardly recession friendly. What also needs to be taken into account is the fact in recent years a much lower number of the countries top clubs go shopping for bargains in England’s lower divisions. Football League players today are therefore, more often than not, on their way down in the football world. For real punk football it has to be cheaper, have a cult-like obscurity to the general public, but also easily accessible. Vitally Punk football stars like the Pistols, Dr Feelgood et al in 1976 must also have the potential one day to take their raw talents to the very top. The answer therefore lies lower down in the football food chain, is very often seen at Underhill, though doesn’t at all involve Barnet.

As irony has it, Johnny Rotten, the man who’s sneer helped bring Punk Rock into the national consciousness happens to be a lifelong Arsenal fan who grew up in Benwell Road, which lies close to the concrete bowl of the E******* Stadium. As many may have seen in his YouTube rant outside the stadium, (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yrz92Z0SsDI) he points and screams at the post-2002 cannon emblem ‘YOU HAVE LET ME DOWN...YOU FUCKING BASTARDS...I GREW UP SUPPORTING YOU AND I GET THAT!’. However he also ends his rendition of ‘You are my Sunshine’ with the line ‘I’ll always love you...but fucking hell, who took the Arsenal away?’ Punk rock did never actually totally abandon the anarchic concept of rock and roll and in the words of fellow Pistol Glen Matlock ‘looked to get back to the freshness and energy of the 50s’. Therefore, with this in mind abandoning one’s concept of supporting your existing passion shouldn’t come into it. And like Punk rock idealism also, it must be by the kids, for the kids.

It was one December evening in 1976 when the nation first got exposed to the Pistols with their infamous Bill Grundy interview and for me it was a December evening 32 years later when Punk football burst into my consciousness. For no admission fee whatsoever I had witnessed Eduardo’s comeback before a fervent crowd (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9lU8LQ4J0A), very few of whom over the age of 25 and probably even less of whom get into the E******* on a regular basis when you take account of the average age of a Premiership match day attendee being 43! The ‘Eduardo Da Silva – Arsenal’s No. 9’ song had been loud and continuous, even though his impact in the game had been little. I had also been there for the Cardiff game 2 months on, and despite Eddie’s explosive return I had found the E******* muted by comparison. Cardiff in February was also equally muted compared to the excellent 3-1 FA Youth Cup Quarter Final win at WHL in front of 19,084 for the princely sum of £3.00 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eR67RXMlvE). It’s rather ironic also that the E*******’s Stadium Anthem on match days should be an Elvis number, seeing how his bloated excess was terminal at the same time as punk’s vitality was in the ascendency.

Sadly like Punk Rock, punk football is almost certain not to last forever and may even in a perverse way feed the great evil it seeks to destroy. The talents of Jack Wilshire and Jay Emmanuel-Thomas, like the Jam and the Clash before them, will leave the small venues behind to fill stadiums across the globe, their successors on the scene may be taken up by the footballing equivalents of the Leighton Buzzards. But, for the time being at least, never mind the bollocks – here’s to the Arsenal Youth!

A few weeks subsequent to this article Arsenal went on to win the FA Youth Cup, the home leg of the final had seen a 4-1 victory over Liverpool in front of a crowd of 33,000.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NHRF1DPxlzU&feature=related

Why the FA Cup Is Half Full

Posted on onlinegooner.com on January 26th 2009

http://www.onlinegooner.com/exclusive/index.php?id=978

You may have missed it last May, I know I certainly did. The throngs of people lining the streets along the open top bus route from the stadium named after an airline all the way through Holloway Road to Islington Town Hall for the civic reception in celebration of our side’s great achievement. In fact it’s escaped my attention every year since 2005. I have my suspicion that it may have never even happened at all. Quite why it shouldn’t I don’t know. So what if we never won a trophy, would we have swapped it for Tottenham or Portsmouth’s achievements last season? This was a question Matthew Lorenzo had put to us on the 1992/93 season video while voicing over a league table showing Arsenal’s final position (10th) that season with the phrase ‘all of the above with exception of Manchester United would have happily swapped places with Arsenal on FA Cup Final day’. And Lorenzo was right, Norwich City would happily have swapped their highest ever finish that year for our double cup final appearances, as would Spurs despite this being one of the few times they actually finished above us. However last year, not so. Despite having absolutely nothing to show for it we were more contented than Spurs or Portsmouth, even p***ing ourselves over the thought of the former trying to lord their ‘achievement’ over us.


What has led to this celebration of mediocrity? Wasn’t scoring in a cup final every youngster’s dream, wasn’t Stanley Matthews (below) finally winning the FA Cup at 38 the icing on the cake of his great career? Wasn’t Cloughie’s failure to win it the greatest disappointment of his? Would either have seen finishing third/fourth or avoiding relegation as adequate compensation for missing out on the Cup? If it was good enough for Stanley Matthews, the Kaka of his generation, why isn’t it good enough for Dave Kitson of Reading? Last season he stated ‘We are not going to win the FA Cup and I do not care less about it, to be honest’. So much for the romance of the cup! In fact what is the value of a giant-killing in 2009? In 1992 Arsenal’s full strength team were humiliated 1-2 at Wrexham. If Cardiff manage it this season in the replay we will probably retort that we didn’t even bother playing a full first team so it couldn’t have been that important anyway, as we did when we lost to Burnley.



It doesn’t take the investigative wit of a Sherlock Holmes to work out why this has happened (in fact the investigative wit of Eamonn Holmes is sufficient in this instance). The twin forces of the Champions League and Premier League have overshadowed the romance of the big day out at ‘Wem-ber-leee’. As Gwen Guthrie states in her 1986 hit ‘Ain’t Nothing Going On But The Rent’ there is ‘no romance without finance’, and as Kitson explains ‘Our league status is not protected by winning the FA Cup - simple as that’. I’m sure Wenger would be the first to point out the same regarding the FA Cup in relation to our Champions League status. So there you go. We’ve got status to uphold and too many bills to pay to go chasing dreams. In the words of a 1984 Depeche Mode hit ‘it’s a lot like life’, however wasn’t football invented to get away from all that sh*t?

Recently an Australian colleague of mine had rightly pointed out his amazement at the Premiership’s global popularity when you consider how predictable it all is. The last time any of the big four failed to qualify for the Champions League was 2002/3, the last time all of the current big four failed to finish in the top four was 1962/63! The bottom is equally predictable, the last time all the newly promoted sides stayed up and all newly relegated sides stayed down was 1989/90. Fans of sides like Tottenham, Everton, Man City, Portsmouth, West Ham or Newcastle - once relegation is safely out of the way - may get to dream of a cup run as the Champions League is often too far out of reach.

This year we have exceptional circumstances as at the time of writing the bottom ten sides are separated by five points and one of the big four (us) lay in fifth position, albeit three points off of fourth place with a five point cushion over sixth. However the less predictable league situation pre-Premiership with for instance a side like West Ham between 1984-86 finishing two points from relegation one year and four points off the title the next with virtually the same side is not very likely. Neither is a title winning side like Arsenal in 1989 who only had one top four finish in the previous five years. However two League Cup finals in the previous two seasons went some way as a stepping stone for George Graham’s fledgling side, though the final of 2007 unlike 1987 and 1988 was not even deemed worthy of a full first team.

The League Cup always had a lesser glamour compared with the FA Cup, however since the extension of the Champions League to third and fourth places a decade ago it too has lost its shine. I don’t believe we will historically get the credit we deserve for our record of seven semi finals in eight years between 1998 and 2005 and three wins over four years 2002-2005. For me the egalitarian solution to break the monotony and revitalise the FA Cup is for all associations with three to four entrants in the Champions League to give their last spot to their cup winners. Unfair that a side finishing tenth, or even from outside of the Premiership may get a Champions League spot: so what? I didn’t think we watched football for its predictability, if sides know the rules from the start they have nothing to complain about. They may just take the Cup more seriously as a result. After all, the introduction of the play-offs may have brought the unfairness of a side in sixth position getting promotion over the third placed side, but they were introduced to retain some entertainment value for lower positioned clubs at the end of the season and they’re still here two decades on. The Championship play-off final has been referred to as "the richest game of football in the world" due to the money on offer through gaining promotion to the Premier League. Surely such a title would be more befitting of the FA Cup as a passport to the riches of the Champions League?

New To This Game Are Yer?

This article was published in the January 2009 edition of The Gooner Magazine

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=192

The ‘Eboooooue’ scandal rumbles on and everyone has their own opinions on the antics of a 60,000 strong crowd in London N7. Fleet Street with acres of tabloid column space to fill has certainly not passed up the challenge to add its two pence worth on the situation. The Sun evoked images of warfare and the inefficiencies of Islington’s limp-wristed middle-class liberals in comparison to the spirit of the two world wars stating ‘when it comes to fighting in the trenches, you would not want to be alongside too many Arsenal fans. The Nick Hornby Brigade would leave 10 minutes before the end of the battle so they could catch the tube home. And the hardcore fighters who stayed until the end would pick on their own to such an extent that they would turn the guns on themselves’.

Chris McGrath of the more high-brow Independent also links the Arsenal fans antics to declining social standards, asserting that ‘people like this represent something – not just in football, but in society itself....in short they are the symbol of decadence....that is why all the obloquy (for those without English as their first language this means ‘stick’) directed at Emmanuel Eboue must be returned towards each and every Arsenal fan who rose from his seat to join a vile chorus of booing as he left the field on Saturday’. In fellow broadsheet the Telegraph, Jim White claims that ‘Arsenal’s customers bring out their Santa claws to leave Eboue scarred’. He elaborates that ‘money has altered the fundamentals of the game; the Arsenal fan websites (do they mean us?) were alive yesterday with debate about the E-booing. In the past....it would never have happened you supported the shirts no matter what....that is what being a fan is about....to boo one of your own is sacrilege’. Patrick Barclay carries with this theme, believing that ‘We have a different kind of football these days, a person disrespectful, a person brought up on the kind of humiliation culture you see on these TV programmes...They should offer any fan who's not happy the chance to go, hand in their season ticket to someone on the waiting list’. Barclay stops short of analyzing a piece of reality TV from the 80s called ‘Hooligan’ which solely centred around how football fans of the day conducted themselves, probably because it didn’t fit in with his trip down selective memory lane.

So the conclusion the press expect us to draw from this turns out to be that football fans booing their own players is a new phenomenon and one which can only possibly done by affluent ‘neuvau’ rather than ‘real’ fans. The evidence put forward sadly leads us nowhere near water but they expect us to drink nonetheless. In fact an ignorance of past instances of fans booing their own is a far greater implication of some sort of recent conversion to football spectating because such examples are numerous. For a kick off, Emmanuel Eboue is not the first substitute to be substituted due to a crowd’s dissatisfaction of his performance. This accolade goes to Niall Quinn in 1987 against Southampton, who was in fact the first ever substitute to be substituted in English football. The player he replaced in the opening minutes of that match turned out to be ‘cult hero’ Perry Groves, himself a target for the Highbury boo-boys from 1991/2. In that season reliable first team favourites like Nigel Winterburn also had the same treatment. As the defending champions, our title chase all but disappeared by Christmas that season. In the midst of all this frustration a mistake by Winterburn against Wimbledon on New Year’s Day which lead to the Dons taking the lead at Highbury led to him receiving a level of abuse from the North Bank which he publicly complained about to the press after the game.

Arsenal players who have written themselves into the club’s history books have also had their share of abuse; Michael Thomas received his in the 2nd half of the 1988/89 season after he began to lose his phenomenal early season form. He was dropped on Paul Davis’s return from nine match suspension, but came back into the fold due to Davis’s injury around March, scoring his famous 89th minute winner at Anfield in late May. Ian Wright, who during the ‘1-0 nil to the Arsenal’ years was the undoubted star of the side. However he too received stick from the Highbury crowd just months after breaking Cliff Bastin’s scoring record. As Arsenal’s title race withered along with Wright’s form he was on the receiving end of abuse from his own fans during the 1-3 defeat by Blackburn at Highbury. His anger led to a particularly x-rated challenge on a Rovers defender and his subsequent substitution, and then later shouted abuse through the dressing room window in the direction of Arsenal fans in Avenell Road on their way to the tube. As Arsenal went on to win their first double in 27 years, the Blackburn episode had hastened Wrighty’s exit. Despite this, all was apparently forgotten less than 18 months later when he received a rapturous reception after coming on as sub in Lee Dixon’s testimonial, leading to Dixon question whether it was he playing in Wrighty’s testimonial rather than the reverse.



Another incident of barracking popular players came in April 1979. Sammy Nelson – named as the 35th Greatest Arsenal player by Arsenal.com was described by the website as ‘a funny and endearing individual...held in genuine affection by team-mates and supporters alike’. However after putting the ball into his own net, Nelson had received what could be described as a negative response from the North Bank. After the leveling the score later in the game Nelson had decided to respond by dropping his shorts in front of the North Bank. Nelson had in turn received a fine from the FA for his actions.

So past history tells us that not only is booing of our own players nothing new, it’s happened to better and more popular players than Emmanuel Eboue. I have personally never myself booed or seen the point in booing one of our own and feel to a certain extent that Eboue’s treatment was harsh considering his return from injury and being played out of position. On the other hand I also can’t cry a thousand tears for the fact that he has, correct me if I’m wrong but Eboue received nothing more than common or garden booing and ironic cheers. Unlike various past players he has received no abuse related to his ethnic background; unlike Ian Walker he didn’t receive jibes about his dead mother, unlike John Fashanu he never received chants about his upbringing in a Dr Banardo’s children’s home. In the history of football crowd chanting the abuse dished out to Eboue was nothing particularly spectacular.
It’s true that there may be nothing particularly nice about being booed by 60,000 people for whose benefit you are supposed to be working for, however compare this to the abuse and threats of physical violence from the general public that comes in the direction of people doing jobs such as driving London’s night buses, working in call centres having to answer for managerial inefficiencies of corporations like energy or telephone suppliers or working in the local Job Centre Plus dealing with the increasing number of desperate and agitated benefit claimants face to face. There are many similar jobs out there in which people who earn in a year what Eboue probably earns in a week have to deal more frequently with abuse from the general public. If Eboue doesn’t like the abuse, he’s got several hours a week on the training ground to sort out his game. As shown from previous history a few good performances tends to stop the boo boys. If he hasn’t got the mental strength for this situation, perhaps a day in one the aforementioned jobs might help him to put it into perspective.

And the argument regarding new and old fans with regard to this is totally irrelevant; the likes of Patrick Barclay et al seem to assume that old school working class fans don’t try to get hold of tickets anymore. Many do for lesser demand games (like Wigan) and have to pay up to £65 for a ticket as once they come to red members as most of the cheaper tickets on the lower tiers are taken up. Barclay and co. on the other hand get paid a tidy sum to enter a football stadium and watch a game, and yet they want to lecture us about the football fan’s relation to economic reality. Perhaps it’s you that needs to spend a bit of time in the real world boys.