A Prize Cult?

This Article was published in the October 2009 edition of the Gooner Magazine

http://www.onlinegooner.com/covers/index.php?id=199

Once upon a time four young men from Merseyside shook up the world, three of which were so talented that had they been in any other group they would have been the sole creative force within that combo. The aforementioned three never really had any affiliation with the beautiful game; though the fourth guy did, however he followed neither the red or blue half of Merseyside. It’s a little known fact but through Harry Graves, Ringo's London born stepfather he actually became a Gooner (http://stage.hn.haymarketnetwork.com/editorial/features/didthebeatleshidetheirfootballingloveaway.aspx).

It was Harry Graves who bought Ringo (Right) his first drum kit, however Ringo's abilities as a musician stood in stark contrast to that of his colleagues. When asked whether Ringo was the best drummer in the world, John Lennon had replied that Ringo 'wasn’t even the best drummer in the Beatles’. Despite this however there are few beatlemaniacs that would, if given the choice, have replaced Ringo with a more accomplished drummer of the time, say Kenny Jones from the Small Faces or Charlie Watts from the Stones. Ringo, by merely being Ringo, seemed to have brought something essential to the party that overcame his lack of talent and in the process became a pop legend in his own right. NME hack Mark Beaumont backs this view, actually naming Ringo as his favourite Beatle. As he explains, Ringo ‘could make hitting a snare drum sound like punching a wet dachshund. Yes, he had a voice like a flock of diseased geese fighting over a clown’s car horn. True, he was the pugly one who lucked in at the last minute. But Ringo was The Beatles. He was the novelty factor without which they would’ve been just showing off’.

It’s with this in mind I ask you to consider what is it exactly that makes an Arsenal icon? Talent goes a long way, however it is not the sole criteria. It surely can’t be just me that finds it the slightest bit strange how over the years Perry Groves has morphed into the ‘cult hero’ of the Arsenal terraces. My early memories of Perry Groves (below) was that his presence rarely ever excited the crowd, even more so seeing how he, in his own words, was more often than not the ‘stuntman’ for far more popular players such as Charlie Nick, Rocky, Merse and Limpar. In fact by 1991/92 the indifference turned to jeers. Yet his autobiography, released in 2006, has gone on to outsell others by players far more technically gifted and famous than he, including one particular former Highbury full back. It’s appeal was summed up in it’s ‘When Saturday Comes’ review as ‘the literary equivalent of a Carry On film; despite its hackneyed feel and cringe-worthy moments, you end up laughing ­guiltily, at parts of it anyway’.


Perry's B-Movie like cult status is highlighted by Jon Spurling in his book centred around Arsenal's erractic fortunes in the 1980s 'All Guns Blazing', published with a great deal of hindsight from an era of consistent achievement in 2001. He states that 'There was a film made a few years ago called 'Mars Attacks', which is a tribute to some of the '60s kitsch cinematic hits. It's a bizarre combination of humour, crappy costumes, a weird storyline and deliberately low budget scenery. It is also, in parts, quite effective and, to quote certain cinematic critics - enjoyable rubbish. Less charitable Arsenal fans would claim that many of these phrases aptly sum up Groves....Perry was B-Grade in every sense - talent, vision, and crucially looks'. Spurling also goes on to add that 'it is doubtful whether or not a cult figure like Perry would be tolerated in the win-or-else '90s, where failure to do so provokes hysterical on-air counselling with David Mellor or Richard Littlejohn'.

As we stand in late 2009, the era of the win-or-else '90s is well behind us, however its worth taking a quick look at the current crop at the Arsenal to see who among them will be the unlikely 'B-Movie' style icon of the era. We have many in the A-list category whose possession of sublime touch and skill, even at times majestic brilliance, who barring a Cashley or Greedybarndoor-esque hissy fit will be assured recognition of their talent and efforts in an Arsenal shirt when we arrive at the year 2029. Who though will be the footballing Ringo of the era, whose shortcomings will be no barrier to immortality? For me there is only one contender. Like Groves he too has borne the brunt of his recognized, yet for me exaggerated, ineptitude.

In the aftermath of the ‘Ebooing’ incident I had expressed through these pages indifference to the fuss made by the press in reaction to what happened against Wigan last December. I had stated that bearing the brunt of 60,000 angry punters was nothing compared to what some sectors of the UK workforce have to put up with for much less in a year than what Eboue would earn in a week. I had also stated the fact that better and more popular players had previously experienced what Eboue had and that the booing would disappear with a few decent performances. It is important to recognize the fact that the man himself never actually did wallow in self pity and complain about ‘not being loved’, as other players have done since.

Though this may well be an admission of having far too much time on my hands, in August of this year I actually took the day off work for the Arsenal member’s day and viewed the open training session at the Stadium. One person who clearly grasped the PR importance of the day in interacting with the Arsenal public was Emmanuel Eboue, he reveled in larking about with the crowd. As the players left the stadium in their expensive and impressive motor vehicles through the Queensland Road exit, most had looked to maneuver past the mostly young autograph hunters as quickly as possible. One player though had made a concerted effort to stop and sign - Emmanuel Eboue.

If any one player could be justified in wanting to put some distance between himself and the fans after last year it would be Eboue, however this light hearted and jovial approach is apparently in keeping with his nature. Other Arsenal players have described the man as ‘funnier than most comedians on the telly’. On meeting the queen at Buckingham Palace Eboue had decided it appropriate to break with convention and roll around on the floor with the corgis. In terms of breaking through the stuffy etiquette that comes with meeting the reigning monarch it’s not quite as good as Tommy Cooper’s request for her cup final tickets when she answered ‘no’ to his question of whether she followed football, but it comes somewhere close. The fans have also taken to pointing out that Eboue comes from Africa, followed by the bold assertion that he is ‘better than Kaka’. Whether in 20 years time it will still be sung at the Arsenal, like the ‘Perry Groves World’ chant, only time will tell.